JOURNAL
August - 2016
Extracts from, It Fell From an Unknown Height


Meanwhile, in London ...

6th - I know I'm only a 4 out of 10. Why would I rate myself any higher? I've seen 2's and 1's selling prints. Last month I saw some guy who had been at it a year, offering workshops, prints and mobile covers. I think people are making money. I'm fucking skint. I need money. Maybe I'll sell some key-rings. Yes, that's it. I'll souvenir the fuck out of my I LOVE LONDON project and sell it to tourists. I can do cushion covers and postcard sets and sell bright yellow I ♥ LONDON baseball caps to American kids - I'LL BE RICH!

Nah - 4/10's don't do a thing until at the gates of eight. And even then, it's a measly print.

William Eggleston's showing at The National Portrait Gallery. I've never seen his work in life before. Get inside and ask security where the toilet is. It's seriously hot today. Sweat bleeds though my shirt, cardigan and coat. I'm a mess and need a shit. This is my priority at the moment inside this splendid gallery.

The photographs are pleasant in a range of sizes. I am blown away with the colour and tones. I want my colour to be the same. I know they won't ever be. I see his most well-known pieces and linger at them for a while. I watch the others who are in attendance - everyone looks so clean-shaven and pure.
I'm a dripping stinking mess and fidget as sweat builds in pools at the summit of my arse-crack and I wonder if this can be seen. Probably. I don't mind it so much on my back. I'd hate to walk around with a sweat-ridden arse though.

There's an older gentleman reading on a bench in the middle of the room. He is framed and poised beautifully in the light. I grab my camera but hesitate. I don't want to be the one at a photography exhibition who takes photographs of people, pretending to be a photographer. Hey everyone, look, I'm at a photo exhibition taking shots - I'm a photographer too! I don't want to be that guy ... Pretending to be William.

I should probably reign in my mouth a little, but sometimes I cannot help it. It was a pleasant weekend - nice to meet people who I knew only through their photographs. There were some that simply looked at me as though I were nothing, made little effort to converse when I fired up a conversation and I was fine with that. Overall, it was an interesting and informative weekend of street photography and chit-chat. I don't really chit-chat though. I'm shit at it.

Down in the shop I almost buy the book. I decide to wait for it to become cheaper online. I buy a cheap portrait of the man. He reminds me of my highschool English teacher. He is looking at me in the same manner, too.



24th - I LOVE LONDON will come to an end in 2017. That'll be 5 years on the thing. There are a few more parts that need completing but they are nothing too daunting to undertake. The overall finished product will be a London Guidebo
Some time ago I had displayed the images online side-by-side in order to gain some structure and flow and to see how relationships between two photographs may be formed and linked. Since I am no longer working on the project for the rest of 2016, I have decided to have another shot at sequencing.

Okay, that'll be a little different from the traditional guidebooks we have come to know and use. The layout and design will take cues from that of the work of illustrators and fine art publishers and a number of different materials/paper types will be used. The intended audience for this has always been small - mainly those on my Facebook friends list (less than 50) who may want one for free. I'll most likely make twenty to give out to those on Facebook and have twenty available on my website to purchase. The remaining ten of the edition of fifty, will be sent out to various bloggers and whatnot.

I've never had it in my mind to create this body of work with the aim to publish for the masses - or make money, or find glory, popularity and praise - for me, it's simply been a labour of love and hopefully the end result will be a representation of that.

I've been sent an email from Amateur Photographer magazine to send in some work and tips on a Street Photography feature that they are working on. I've never been asked to do this kind of thing before and I didn't really know what to write or what photographs to send. So I wrote an email back with tips that went on far too long and photographs that I now think are not good enough.

I haven't gotten a reply. I think I've been binned. Maybe they've realised too, that I'm only a 4.
26th - I want to work on something with a little weight to it - something with a bit more bite. The more I look at my London project, the more I tell myself that I am documenting it in the completely wrong way - from the wrong perspective - I keep asking myself, 'What do I really want people to see?'

Head to Knightsbridge to shoot what is likely to be the last of the protests in the series 'Demo'. I'm not sure where else to take it, although someone from Socialist Worker invited me down to one of their meetings and I immediately thought it may be another perspective on causes and movements - plus, I happen to like the paper too, which helps. As for the project as is, I think I'm done. I wish I could go back to 2011 and start again. Although not amazing, I sort of think I have a little more knowledge of framing and composition than I did back then when I started.

I'll most likely make a small run of zines for the project, about 20 - ten to force into the hands of friends, the rest to put on the website if anyone happens to want one. I'd originally planned to have it in the form of a Protest Kit - a number of different items in a box - all you need to equip yourself for a protest.

But that's just me being a pretentious twat about my work.

Zine will be fine.