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JOURNAL
May - 2018
Extracts from, It Fell From an Unknown Height



5th.

Hot and sticky are the days that follow. I wonder through the parks, always aware, arranging compositions of the many in my mind. An early summer sun in spring brings crowds of visitors and residents alike to the parcels of green, nestled and almost hidden between the veins and carriages of grey, and somehow, all of it is protected from the chaos and the noise and is far removed from the  almost military unison of the tourist and local in flux, although somewhat orderly is their passage and passing of one-another.

The solitude of the fields and the display of all, and all the colour; the mixing of classes and the shedding of boundaries, all coming together to delight in an equal space where one can enjoy their surroundings, where one can enjoy themselves and where one can enjoy their company, be it their own or with another. 

The hum and drone of a distant disorder like that of the bee and the purr of the veterans engine, spread pale on the horizon, unable to break and penetrate into the calmness of such places. And it is here that I seek my compositions; my own order and my own arrangements, establishing structure and everything contained within it - the resting of lovers, the playful children, the carefree dance between two in a game of leisure; the book that’s read and the dreams of those whose eyes remained closed as I stand at the boundaries of it all, somewhat regretful of my perimeters. Burdened am I constantly, to be different ... to do, different.

Photographs taken for: I LOVE LONDON


13th.

Although the city beyond the glass of the train window remains the same, the anatomy of concrete and steel and the colours of it all, change. I look to it and upon it like that of a child looking out at the sea of change when slipping through the folds of what they know, and into a view almost foreign. 

Down to the water, via a conversation of pleasantries and agreements between passenger and driver, I am at once disappointed with the view. The opportunities are forever present, but limited are the displays of colour and costume that I had for so long wanted to see, now all but vacant apart from one or two. I find some peace in the shape of things; the sun, unfortunately, adding little to freeing up distance and tone and in it, the merriment of people it often produces in its glow.

Photographs taken for: HOPE & GLORY

13th.

In contrast to the previous, this is anything but. Penned in and contained like that of cattle, in a square so small and compressed, do colours and shapes and forms and displays and delights, take place. The vibrations of song reverberate within this tiny drum of a church courtyard and the echoes of laughter from all rises and climb high into the air, beyond the funnel and chimney of trees, to London beyond.

Happy are those to witness and be a part of a tradition that continues; in awe are those that visit, that know very little of it and of the custom, yet happy and keen they all do seem to be to join in with the pleasantries and games and all that is on show.

Hands of both the young and old at the end of ribbons, in turn and circle they dance, to the clapping and cheers of both family and onlooker, I root myself at the edge of it all, not able to decide upon whom to photograph first; of the participant or of the gallery of viewers. I decide to include them all in the frame - not something I would normally do.

Photographs taken for: HOPE & GLORY
 


19th.

As with the parks, I keep to my boundary; as with compositions, I tend to them first. The coming together of people en-masse of all nations to celebrate the marriage of two. Too many, almost, to be delirious in my want to bring order to them all in a single frame. I try but fail each time. I dance between distance and arrangements of the many and up close to individuals, rarely opting for the middle-arena.

Every so often, high above me, the pillar and drum-like towers of the castle protrudes through the trees and although I would normally be keen to visit, I am more focused on the audience and influx of visitors as they make their way from the train to the centre of the town. Common are those in the Union Jack I find myself drawn to my flag and those who wear it than on any other day and although it has its own unique colour to add to my frame, I find myself in pursuit of something in contrast. 

Photographs taken for: HOPE & GLORY


25th.
I could stir this melting pot of a mess I call a project for longer, but I’ve yet to find or realise the much-needed component to lift it to another place. I’m sure it will come to me eventually and it will all come together one day. 

I have tried and mostly failed in my attempts at it all, such was and is, my inability to choose one form over another - to decide upon distance and arrangement of many, or middle ground and composition of a few, or flash up close with attire being prominent or portraits and the stories combined. Ultimately, although each has been with equal determination, I have fallen short and flat of a standard that is to be found lacking throughout all of my work.

I cannot seem to get there.

Photographs taken for: SUPERFAN

26th.

I’d had this event written on the calender for a few years, and with an empty afternoon, I decided to finally pay a visit. There are many pockets of London that I have yet to explore; the ones I haven’t outnumber the ones I have and although that thought saddens me a little for the time I have been here, it also gives me delight in knowing that there’s so much more out there for me to find and so many other opportunities to present themselves to me to photograph.

I’m welcomed quickly and given freedom and leisure to photograph as I see fit. Religion and the practices and annual events that are displayed in all variants of worship is something that has forever fascinated me, and although I do not resign myself to a God and the practices surrounding one, I am deeply intrigued in people’s ways and beliefs and curious I find myself in wanting not only to document it but to know as much about it as I can in the short periods of time I have with them. And that curiosity is running throughout my inquiry and photographic endeavours.

Photographs taken for: GENERAL EVENTS

31st.

Although I work fast, I have told myself to linger for much longer in those places I have noted to visit, and as much as I dare to push my compositions to the point that I know I can no longer find more, I always seem to leave such places with that burdensome feeling of inability and failure. And I become even more aware of it, when in the throws of writing these journals.

I cannot seem to progress in standard, and I simply dont’t know what to do.


Street Photography and General for May.